


Ownership

by anotherFMAfan



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-17
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-10-20 01:44:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10652382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anotherFMAfan/pseuds/anotherFMAfan
Summary: "Watch yourself, Fullmetal. You're treading on very thin ice in very heavy boots."Ed says he can do better that Roy-- so Roy dares him to prove it.Warnings: Mild language and mild het themes. First posted 2009, written at some point prior.





	Ownership

“As _if_ ,” snorted Edward in disdain, employing the iconic eye roll of someone just months away from teenagerhood. “You WISH.”

Now, Roy Mustang liked to think of himself as a man of fine control. His profession and very life demanded it, on multiple fronts, and discipline was important in any soldier’s life. He had two weak points, however, and in the face of those his control whimpered. The first was a beautiful woman, and the second-

_That GODDAMN self-satisfied look, as though he even knows what the hell he’s talking about, the brat-_

Was Edward Elric.

Roy cleared his throat.

“Fullmetal, you are sincerely out of your area of expertise. I would advise you that it’s most unwise to challenge me in this particular subject.”

“Ha,” he said, and grinned. “Even _I_ have a better chance of getting a kiss out of Hawkeye than you do. A million times better.”

“Of course,” he drawled sarcastically, becoming more annoyed by the second, “Because we all know of your long and accomplished record with women.”

The boy shrugged, not seeming at all bothered by Roy’s mockery.

“Experience doesn’t matter. In fact, I’d think the chance of _catching_ something would work against you.”

Roy felt a muscle in his temple twitch, and his eyes sharpened into a glare.

“Watch yourself, Fullmetal, you’re treading on very thin ice in very heavy boots.”

He grinned.

“I can’t help stating the truth. Besides, I’m better looking than you, and she likes me better than you. I’m cute. I’d _own_ you at this.”

That was completely ridiculous, and what the hell did that even mean, he’d “own” him? This new slang was getting less and less decipherable by the day. Edward was still grinning at him with those smug, blazing white teeth, and Roy felt his patience break.

“Alright, then, since you’re so _utterly_ certain, why don’t you prove it?”

Edward’s eyes narrowed.

 _That’s it_ , he thought victoriously. _Call his bluff and send him home with his tail between his legs_.

“Right here, right now. She’s taking a short break, you have the perfect opportunity. Prove it.”

“And if I do?”

Roy snorted.

“Then you will have bested me for the first time in your _short_ , miserable life.”

Edward glared painful death over the desk at him, and Mustang smirked back. He _had_ the kid.

Ed stood up and drew himself up to his rather pitiful full height, cracked his knuckles, and glanced over at Hawkeye.

“ _Just watch me_.”

He turned and began a slow, meandering trek across the room, and after floundering a moment Roy quickly dumped his coffee into the nearest potted plant to give himself a reason to move close enough to see and hear properly. He watched, trying to look as though he weren’t, as Edward approached her.

“Lieutenant?” he asked in a polite voice that he sure as hell never used when talking to Roy.

“Yes?” she replied as she turned to face him, looking mildly surprised.

“I was wondering if…if you wouldn’t mind….” He trailed off in feigned embarrassment, rubbing the back of his neck, and Hawkeye’s eyebrows dipped in concern.

“What is it, Edward?”

“Could I…just for a second…have a hug?” he asked, ducking his head shyly, those impossible golden eyes wide and vulnerable looking. Something in Hawkeye’s face just _melted_ in sympathy, and she smiled at him.

“Edward,” she said in a mildly chiding tone, “Of course,” and extended her arms.

The little sneak! How dare he play on her maternal instincts! He knew full well that Hawkeye knew about his family situation! _When the hell had he gotten so good at this, anyway?!_

Edward wrapped his mismatched arms around her and pillowed his face on her chest, and Roy had to set down his coffee cup before broke it in his iron grip. The unforgivable brat!

She was saying something softly to him and he was nodding, but Roy couldn’t hear, and shifted restlessly as he stewed.  As they pulled apart, Ed offered up his cheek, and seemingly without thinking Hawkeye kissed the side of his face like she might a much younger child.

Roy gave an indignant gasp and pushed off from the desk hard enough to make it sway. Riza gave Ed a last smile and reassuring pat, and returned to her desk as Roy gawked in outrage. Edward very slowly turned around to face him, and gave him the dirtiest, widest shit-eating grin he’d ever seen, and mouthed,

_“Owned.”_


End file.
